“Do I like girls? Do I want to have sex with them?” Ericka thought. “Lesbian didn’t quite fit. ‘I’m bisexual,’ I said. ‘Or am I pansexual?’ There were too many labels, so I decided to stick with queer,” Ericka determined. Ericka had always been very flirtatious and vocal when it came to matters of sexuality. While attending prep school in Puerto Rico, Ericka exclaimed, “We need to talk about sex and pregnancy.” Later on, Ericka attended UMiami Florida, a predominantly white institution, where she was able to explore her own sexual identity, especially in regards to women. Previously, Ericka had only dated cis men. She had met her first boyfriend in an AOL chatroom using ASL in Baltimore. Unlike today, they were not many “coming out” stories. Ellen was the most well-known, but younger, queer people of color were not visible in mainstream media. Many people were “out” but still in secret in college. Social media did not really exist yet except for Facebook, which was majorly used by college students. On Facebook, the option was given to define who you were interested in, and that’s when it all started. Now you see it! Throughout Ericka’s life, they have had the opportunity to experience a personal awakening, in which they have explored their blackness, sexuality, and gender identity.
Living in the suburbs was something new for both of Ericka’s parents. Both had lived in the city of Baltimore before moving to a predominantly white neighborhood. Working three jobs between the two of them, their choice was rooted in escaping the inner city, which aligned with anti-black and classist viewpoints. Along with her younger brother, there were few black people in total. Ericka soon realized that others were confused by her blackness but did not quite understand why. They would ask questions about her hair, skin, and appearance. With all the consistent questioning, Ericka began to doubt herself. “Perhaps something is wrong with me,” she thought.
At home, conversations surrounding blackness were present. Her father was always talking about civil right figures like Malcolm X and Martin Luther King Jr. He very much believed in supporting kunte cloth, afros, and black culture. Ericka still remembers the time when her father told her that the barbie doll’s hair was made with “white people hair.” It had caught her off guard and made her upset. At the time, she had not realized that she had misplaced her anger onto her father instead of Mattel for their lack of diversity, but his comment had made her feel that the barbie was not meant for her. When it came to Ericka’s hair, her parents fought. Placing the hot comb on the stove, Ericka’s mom would press her hair in the mornings, which her dad would argue against. However, Ericka would best describe her father as a pro-black assimilationist in contrast to her mother who was like “fuck white people.” With her mom, Ericka talked about her body. She’d say, “I’m fat.” And her mom would retort, “Well, you’re never gonna be skinny.” At age 13, Ericka lost her mother to breast cancer. Diagnosed in her early 30’s, Ericka’s mom had still continued to work full-time. Before passing, Ericka’s mom taught her breast self-exams. Losing her mother to breast cancer was the hardest experience of her life.
Ericka is a self-proclaimed kinky, poly, cancer-warrior, activist, sexuality educator, and performer. Ericka is also a nonbinary femme who uses she/they pronouns. If you’d like to know more about Ericka Hart, please follow them on Instagram @ihartericka or visit www.ihartericka.com